First of all, a pocket notebook sounds like a wonderful idea. There is no way this blog post could be as productive and meaningful as it would have been 3 hours ago. A pocket notebook could serve a thought page holder.

Now for the less-amazing post:

Going to the theatre is always a hot and cold experience. By definition theatre evokes emotions, usually with an upbeat style, with an attempt at sparking a creative inspiration to give us all a new lease on life. This fraction obviously representing the former hot experience. The other side of the coin however is nothing other than green eyed jealously for the performers. Who wouldn’t want that life: being on stage, traveling about/living in a great city, being part of an amazing team of people that consomes most of your life. Turns out not everyone wants this life. However, more people want this life than there are positions possible. On one hand this realization is pleasant because it means life as a performer is possible, of course there is a dark side being that most people who go into the field do not make it very far.

My dreams of performing on board way or internally touring are over. At least now I can admit there were those dreams did exist. As every minute I age it takes off a month of my possible career as a performer. I might as well give it one last shot. One thing I have been trying to do right the last few years is not to leave any stone unturned. Lately it has become exceeding difficult to put my finger on anything solid for more than five minutes. Why not give dance one last valent effort for a comeback?

Another part of my theatre experience has always been slightly therapeutic, in the sense sometimes during the middle of each act I loose track of the story and think of my own life. How it mirrors characters in the show, or just what’s going on with me in general. I don’t participate in this type of behavior a lot, I keep busy not directly for the reason of avoiding thinking in a way such as this, but it definitely isn’t bad side effect.

This theatre invoked new theory consists of simplicity. The correct answer is usually the easiest route. I thought about what consistently consumes my thoughts and actions. 1 Even when I’m at the educational amazing interactive positive science museum I work at, the big open space just make me want to arabesque across the floor. 2 If I talk to anyone long enough about life; particularly relationships, happy memories, or love in general it is inevitable that I will mention the same “perfect” someone. It is funny that perfect was always the word to describe him yet I never really stopped to take it literally.

These two subjects may seem a little contrived given the direction of my life right now plus the musical setting. However, these are the only two things I literally dream about on a consistent basis. Point being, they are two things that are on my mind more than any one other thing. Instead of exhausting myself searching and searching for answers, maybe I should just listen to my own thoughts and feelings I already have.

Lots of things could be true, there are countless plausible outcomes for almost all situations. Instead of trying to predict solutions and problems and the future basically. I would really like to just live. I have to start somewhere. I feel like the best possible thing I could do for myself right now, is to sit back, relax, and breath. And then go and do. Not plan and predict. It is just difficult to put these gross generalizations into real actions when society pressures my age group to stay in school, transfer to a new one if you must. But make sure you do your own research on where and what you’ll be doing there. Because there are no guaranties anymore. You are responsible for your own life, or at least that’s how it seems.

*This post needs clarity and editing. However, I realize I have 9 days left in this semester and a shitload of work to do. If I make it out to explore any of these new future strategies and goals, first this semester has to be finished.